the ghost of you

the ghost of an unseen past
has corrupted my mind,
for that echo may well last
more lives than i can find.

if i find truth in your eyes,
in me there may be hope
dressed in a black disguise
that's hanging from a rope.

there's a rope around my throat
and poison through my veins,
it's her words i still quote
"abandon me in chains."

these chains around my heart
split opened me in two,
it's neither science nor art -
it's the absence of you.

as with the absence of a drug,
i can't control the shakes -
i feel not a man but a bug
that thrives on self-mistakes.

do forgive the mistake i am,
leave and be forever gone,
it's me and me that i condemn
and sentence to be alone.

i'm alone deep in my soul,
i can't forget and i can't leave -
i've this love i cannot control
and a passion that's still naive.

my passion is a blinded fool,
these chains to bear are mine,
for those words were as cruel
as a dagger through my spine.

don't

it's been long, far too long,
since i've let it wide open,
though it doesn't feel wrong,
i fear to become broken.

think of and only nought,
how i wish i could ask you such,
but i won't - i can not,
for i love you just too much.

you are as free as a bird,
with strong wings and vibrant,
for those who haven't heard
let it remain forever silent.

only one thing i implore:
make me not a fool of a man,
when i just left the floor
that held me when i ran.

life is as you paint it,
with the colors love should be,
but even if i can't admit:
think of and only me.

the heart's key

alas, my love, how i deeply regret
that i lied about the key to my heart;
i did it only for my mind was set
not to fall for you from the very start.

all alone, months and years have passed me by,
i paced the streets with the key for display;
though i promised my eyes shall never cry,
i let the rain cleanse this anguish away.

my strength's fading, i'll carry it no more
and throw it into the deepest ground hole;
forgive this fool for not seeing before,
not only was it yours as is my soul.

if it's not your desire to break the chain,
it's my desire never to love again.