Wednesday, March 4, 2020

everyday

he sees her on the subway
even when he's late,
even when he's early,
as if, for some reason,
the universe delayed her
or hurried her clock
just so he could see her
again that cold winter morning
while he wondered
"will she be there?
it's late..."
...and there she was!

as if the universe
was trying to punish him
for falling in love,
with her,
with every other girl,
yesterday,
this morning,
tomorrow.

all of the time,
the blood rushing in,
the sadness settling in,
the never-ending misery
that has been his heart
ever since he saw her
just moments ago.

...and moments ago
turn into days,
turn into weeks,
turn into months
while he hopes,
while he prays,
while he daydreams
it doesn't
turn into years.

he still sees her,
every day,
every morning,
at that precise moment
when she's not there
waiting...
she has nowhere to go
because she's not there.

but he has to go,
because she's not there.

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

humanity's greatest treasure

you used to think
that you were the greatest gift
to humanity

and I was a fool,
I was your tool
and believed it blindly

you used to think
that every people's dream was
to be you

and I was a kid
and all that I did,
I did for you

and now
all that you need is gone
and all that I need is done

let us carry on...

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

firestarter

every time
you watch the world go blind
you feel like somehow
you shone white light on them

every time
you watch the wold on fire
you feel like somehow
you lit the match on them

and we're here
to watch them kiss
and fill the world
with cursed bliss

'cause we're here
to watch them miss
their opportunity

take the time
to watch the world go down
spiralling
uncontrollably to the ground

take the time,
c'mon! take yours, take mine,
take it all away
'cause we lost all our control

Sunday, January 26, 2020

I've been falling for you over and over (and over) again

I can't sleep tonight,
you see...
I don't regret ever loving you
and I've been lonely
every since you left me
here to wither
until I start to beg for you...

...to treat me like your boyfriend,
call me by his name,
I just wanna be with you,
let me pretend...

Friday, December 27, 2019

fairy tale

he walked right past her,
while studying the map,
wondering where things were
as the day he did unwrap.

she gave him quite the stare
and his heart right there it fell
while her hair hovered the air
and she left that scented smell.

but – oh! – Lord, would you look at that
how magical some things are,
how beautiful to look at
even when seen from afar.

he was heading to some other place
and her path was in the way,
in a haste, by her, he did pace
but he didn't stop and say "hey!"

so he forgot her and headed straight
until a whisper carried her lullaby
and that held him down – he was late! –
oh..! no he wasn't, that's just a lie.

and that eerie road was softly warmed
by the fading siren's curtain call,
that sweet and sour song transformed
the poor boy's heart 'to nothing at all.

it had been raining probably earlier
as the streets behaved like a mirror,
and down he went, the journeyer,
forever closer, but never nearer.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

matilda


Matilda was a young women in her late twenties.
even though she looked tens years younger, her hair was tens years ahead,
racing towards a finishing line that was still decades away.
the natural highlights gave her that distinct look that no other girl had.
she was kind and sweet, small and fragile,
but her heart could take on the entire world.
that heart rendered Jeremy helpless on the ground,
shouting silently "not again,"
but again indeed in love he fell.

madly.

her eyes were large, bright and brown,
with a sadness not even she was aware of,
but Jeremy noticed and vowed to take it all away.
he couldn't bear to see another living being suffer,
let alone the one to whom his heart belonged.
she also fell for him and soon said "I love you,"
after making love that night when he met her late after work,
when he brought her dinner that she didn't have time to cook.
he never expected to hear that before uttering the words himself,
as he was mentally preparing to do.
he replied with a smile that reached the nearest star.
and they were happy and vowed never to go to sleep mad at each other.

they took long walks among the palaces,
shared kisses among sweets and listened to stories together as her heart broke
every time the characters suffered an impossible love.
but that wasn't them, luckily, because they loved and cared for each other.

deeply.

the days went by and they moved in together
as they already spent every second they could afford with one another.

and they got slightly mad each day for some tiny detail,
too insignificant to remember now.
they were proud and didn't like to admit their own flaws and faults.
once in a while, they would go to sleep mad at each other.
they'd wake up in the morning longing for the other's embrace,
but then they remembered they didn't fall asleep in each other's arms
and silence would shadow the whole day,
until they had dinner together
and heard stories
and made love
and said "I love you."

but the annoyance would show up here and there,
each time more and more.
and their light turned to shadow and their smiles grew smaller,
until they weren't smiles at all.
and their long walks were reduced to the necessary from one place to another.

no detours.

and they would say "good morning," "good night" and "I love you"
without their heart skipping a beat,
each time emptier than the last,
until those very words became painful to even think about.
they grew anxious about meeting each other at home
and started making excuses to avoid the other.
even in the short moments in which they were together,
silence creeped in and wouldn't leave.
they remembered the days before,
when they were each other's life, world and universe,
song and prayer,
whisper and shout.

they vowed to restart again and they were happy.
they took long walks, listened to stories,
made love and said "I love you,"
and then they fell asleep in each other's arms.
It was good and, in that moment, they were happy.

afterwards,
Matilda would question Jeremy every time he was silent why he was silent.
Jeremy was merely thinking thoughts unworthy to be verbalised,
lost in his mind's world,
sheltered from the annoyances in her.
her spot by the nose,
    that he used to love so much,
was now dull and ugly.

irritating,
mildly infuriating.
she wasn't interesting
and she wasn't happy.

they stopped saying "good night,"
falling asleep wishing they would wake up from a nightmare,
still holding each other as they used to...

...but they weren't dreaming and they weren't happy.

they grew apart and Jeremy grew restless.
her eyes were large, bright and brown,
with a sadness that Jeremy couldn't soak anymore.

he said he didn't love her and she probably cried.

Monday, September 2, 2019

forever

the trauma in my head,
became the monster in my bed
and I can't sleep – not very deep –,
and I can't rest – how I detest! –
because the monster, at night, it snores
and it moves, and it rages, and it roars!

I'm counting seconds as eons on Earth,
regretting everything, forsaking my birth!
I long for nothing, care for no crown,
set me free from the chains that weigh me down
since the cursed day when I made you mine
as I uttered the words "be my valentine..."

"forever," she said and "forever," I replied
and as the days went by, "forever" I complied,
because "forever" didn't feel like forever at the time,
“forever” felt so easy when we were in our prime
and we cursed ourselves forever with “forever”
and they watched us do it, saying nothing whatsoever…

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

the bell jar

as you sleep inside the crystal shell
that I masterfully crafted for you,
you dream the dreams you never tell
and live a life hidden from view.

as you dream inside the bell jar
that I placed above your chambers,
you wish a wish upon a star
that someone somewhere hears your payers.

as you wish inside the glass container
that I assembled with my own hands
you realize that I grow insaner
as I invade your foreign lands.

as you realize the invisible cage
resting upon your weary head,
you gasp for air in screaming rage
and no one hears a word you said.

Monday, March 11, 2019

a spider's thread

what is that sound that loops and cracks,
coming from the bottom of my bed?
maybe it tics or maybe it tacs
or maybe it's all in my head.

what feeling is this that's just so cruel —
the loathed confession I've never read —
the dread of being another fool,
'cause maybe it's all in my head.

what thoughts remain when my mind clears
and the necrophagous ghosts take me for dead?
naught but a plain ol' jar of tears
that pours only inside my head.

what sorcery is this that curses my heart
and turns it into pitch black from red?
may it be an evil seed from the start,
may it grow large inside my head.

what is that dark desire and fiery rage
that freezes me like a spider's thread?
it's my own torturing cage —
oh! the thoughts inside my head...

what are these thoughts inside my head,
what business have they in there?
where else did they spread?
they're killing me... and I'm aware!

Monday, December 10, 2018

in my head

I remember long ago
when all the voices felt so low
and I was left all alone

then they started to call
out my name, out the wall
all the names that I've known

in my head,
in my heart,
and in my soul,
I'm with them,
they're with me
and make me whole

for once in my life,
I'm in love,
I'm in love with a knife

so bring it back to me,
dear wife,
dear wife cut me free