Tuesday, March 12, 2019

the bell jar

as you sleep inside the crystal shell
that I masterfully crafted for you,
you dream the dreams you never tell
and live a life hidden from view.

as you dream inside the bell jar
that I placed above your chambers,
you wish a wish upon a star
that someone somewhere hears your payers.

as you wish inside the glass container
that I assembled with my own hands
you realize that I grow insaner
as I invade your foreign lands.

as you realize the invisible cage
resting upon your weary head,
you gasp for air in screaming rage
and no one hears a word you said.

Monday, March 11, 2019

a spider's thread

what is that sound that loops and cracks,
coming from the bottom of my bed?
maybe it tics or maybe it tacs
or maybe it's all in my head.

what feeling is this that's just so cruel —
the loathed confession I've never read —
the dread of being another fool,
'cause maybe it's all in my head.

what thoughts remain when my mind clears
and the necrophagous ghosts take me for dead?
naught but a plain ol' jar of tears
that pour only inside my head.

what sorcery is this that curses my heart
and turns it into pitch black from red?
may it be an evil seed from the start,
may it grow large inside my head.

what is that dark desire and fiery rage
that freezes me like a spider's thread?
it's my own torturing cage —
oh! the thoughts inside my head...

what are these thoughts inside my head,
what business have they in there?
where else did they spread?
they're killing me... and I'm aware!

Monday, December 10, 2018

in my head

I remember long ago
when all the voices felt so low
and I was left all alone

then they started to call
out my name, out the wall
all the names that I've known

in my head,
in my heart,
and in my soul,
I'm with them,
they're with me
and make me whole

for once in my life,
I'm in love,
I'm in love with a knife

so bring it back to me,
dear wife,
dear wife cut me free

Friday, April 13, 2018

at least in my dreams

don't you understand,
how the story will end?
it starts soft like this
and eventually turns to bliss

but can you really care
for something that's fair?
and can you even whisper
you're happy, not bitter?

all I want from this
is to run away with you,
but you don't even know
what a single kiss could do

all my friends are gone
and I'm really thrilled to tell
that at least in my dreams,
they are all burning in hell

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

never coming home

here I rest alone,
just looking outside my window
there's so much undone
and I feel like a creep, a weirdo

here I hear the whisper
from the shadow that crawls beneath
and it feels it's getting crisper
'cause the story doesn't turn to myth

from here to the shore
or wherever I may roam,
I hear the closing door
for I'm never coming home

today I found your love,
it's made from pebbles and stone
the darkest I can think of
and you will die alone

tomorrow I lay dead
from the sins of my angered heart,
the best I've ever had
was our love grown apart

from here to the shore
or wherever I may roam,
I hear the closing door
for I'm never coming home

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

moon and stars

I want a star,
I want the moon,
I only wish
I could stay up in my room

I want a price
upon my head,
I only wish
you were here in my bed

I want a floor
below my feet,
'cause without you
I feel so incomplete

I want the words
you never said,
'cause without them
I'm better off dead

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

I love you, because... how could I not?

I love you.

...do I? do I really?

I'm quite certain that I do!

...how can I be so certain?

I cannot know, but I can feel it and I feel it just like that!

...so what exactly do I feel?

I can't explain it, I can't put it into words, I can't write a song about it and I can't paint it in all the colours of the rainbow. I feel a sudden rush of blood flowing — no! — bursting through my veins and racing fiercely towards my heart and pumping it as hard as my chest will stand it — even harder — so much it pains me with every single thrust! but that's not it, that's not even the start of it! that's just the droplet that fell from the waves shadowing the sun and threatening to drown me in my own misery... and such great misery is only due to the fact that you're not with me and I'm not even present in the sighs of your thoughts.

...and what is this thing that can't be explained, that can't be put into words or song and can't even be painted with all the colours of the rainbow?

it's love, foolish love, blinded, bounded and gagged love, all the mistakes we can ever make bundled together into one single word — love!

...such a thing, if it were to be real, would certainly be inhumane! would it not?

my dear friend, now you finally understand, for love is truthfully the most inhumane thing that ever dared to be conceived — and it was conceived! and love became the behemoth of cruelty when someone loved for the first time and such inconceivable evil was allowed physical presence in our world.

...how can I then submit to such a thing?

how could I not?

Sunday, May 1, 2016

your greatest hero

you called out my name behind the curtains in your window
like you needed the protection from whom was once your greatest hero
and you said "please go away, for I don't want you anymore"
and I heard your voice was muffled from the barricaded door

you said you've been pushing this just for far too long
and I asked "baby, won't you tell me where all it went so wrong?"
and you said "dear John, I'm so sorry for all the things that I do,
but I just can't bind myself to the idea of someone like you"

somewhere in your life you thought that I was good enough,
but somehow I screwed up and now you're throwing out my stuff
and I can't recall the last time that we kissed with desire,
'cause now our flame burns just like a funeral pyre

won't you take my hand and ride with me through the veins of time?
we'll make a stop in the moment I was yours and you were mine,
maybe you've just grown accustomed to my face
and I would rip it off for good, 'cause it's you I can't replace

Sunday, April 10, 2016

blinded by love

I have a girl that mostly I never see,
since that perfect day when she finally came to me
and I saw my eyes were only blinding me
so she took her knife and rip them to my plea

I have a girl...
I have a girl...

I have a girl that mostly I never feel,
since the cold struck touch of her sharp knife's steel,
but now that I'm free everything seems so real
and this love I've found will allow me to heal

I have a girl...
I have a girl...

I have a girl that mostly I never hear,
since the day I met her in december of last year
and I've kept my heart closed for her my dear
for the love will vanish if I open it I fear

I have a girl...
I have a girl...

I used to have a girl in those days of being mad,
even if she wasn't real, she was the best I've ever had,
with her around I didn't know I felt so glad
but now she's gone and it hurts to feel this sad

I had a girl...
I had a girl...

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

goodbye, sweet honeyed words

I see you standing there across the ocean,
looking back at me through the lens,
as if just standing still could stop the motion
and I was here waiting on my knees

don't you try to sell me your sweet words,
I think I might have lost my appetite
and you paint yourself so high among the lords,
can't you see you're just wanted for the night?

I feel your heart's desire riding with the wind,
announcing that it's just passing by
and the thought of chasing you did cross my mind,
but you had just said goodbye

so don't you go and feed me your honey,
my soul is still filled with the void
and you thought I was just being funny
about all the time you made me paranoid

you came back that night without warning,
certain that I'd take you in my arms,
because I loved you deeply in the morning
and the night still smelled of your charms

so don't you try and kiss me like you do,
don't you dare hold my head,
your absence fed this love that I grew
and your presence will just drive me mad
and I'd rather be dead