love letter from a knight to his long-dead wife

reckless fool, witch and more,
hear me out - now as before,
as i stand - here on the shore,
as a knight - from nevermore.

the end seems a good fitting
for a monster that's reminiscing
on his heart done-beating
for a love lost dreaming.

find it's a cold way to say,
you might admittedly say,
what was warm someday,
as warm as a summer's day.

pray, don't come near again!
all the cries were done in vain,
all the tears, mere drops of rain,
dripping from eyes insane.

words won't come out right,
nor "i love you, day and night"
for just living is a fright,
there's no you, there's no light.

hearing whispers all the time
became usual over a dime,
that was once rich and mine,
has been lost since sixty-nine.

one thing has never been said
since my lover was found dead
with the guilt over her head
for something she never had.

and thus the truth was spoken
and all distant lands awoken
for all that remains is a token
from when this heart got broken.

let me slip into immersion,
sleep into a new dimension,
dream stripped from imagination
to endure this pain, this desperation.

unburden before sleep

i feel weaker day by day and the end seems too far to wait for. if i resist, and surely i will try, then i can say "i did it, i reached the end." may it be all that i accomplish, may it be worth something.