Tuesday, June 20, 2017

moon and stars

I want a star,
I want the moon,
I only wish
I could stay up in my room

I want a price
upon my head,
I only wish
you were here in my bed

I want a floor
below my feet,
'cause without you
I feel so incomplete

I want the words
you never said,
'cause without them
I'm better off dead

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

I love you, because... how could I not?

I love you.

...do I? do I really?

I'm quite certain that I do!

...how can I be so certain?

I cannot know, but I can feel it and I feel it just like that!

...so what exactly do I feel?

I can't explain it, I can't put it into words, I can't write a song about it and I can't paint it in all the colours of the rainbow. I feel a sudden rush of blood flowing — no! — bursting through my veins and racing fiercely towards my heart and pumping it as hard as my chest will stand it — even harder — so much it pains me with every single thrust! but that's not it, that's not even the start of it! that's just the droplet that fell from the waves shadowing the sun and threatening to drown me in my own misery... and such great misery is only due to the fact that you're not with me and I'm not even present in the sighs of your thoughts.

...and what is this thing that can't be explained, that can't be put into words or song and can't even be painted with all the colours of the rainbow?

it's love, foolish love, blinded, bounded and gagged love, all the mistakes we can ever make bundled together into one single word — love!

...such a thing, if it were to be real, would certainly be inhumane! would it not?

my dear friend, now you finally understand, for love is truthfully the most inhumane thing that ever dared to be conceived — and it was conceived! and love became the behemoth of cruelty when someone loved for the first time and such inconceivable evil was allowed physical presence in our world.

...how can I then submit to such a thing?

how could I not?

Sunday, May 1, 2016

your greatest hero

you called out my name behind the curtains in your window
like you needed the protection from whom was once your greatest hero
and you said "please go away, for I don't want you anymore"
and I heard your voice was muffled from the barricaded door

you said you've been pushing this just for far too long
and I asked "baby, won't you tell me where all it went so wrong?"
and you said "dear John, I'm so sorry for all the things that I do,
but I just can't bind myself to the idea of someone like you"

somewhere in your life you thought that I was good enough,
but somehow I screwed up and now you're throwing out my stuff
and I can't recall the last time that we kissed with desire,
'cause now our flame burns just like a funeral pyre

won't you take my hand and ride with me through the veins of time?
we'll make a stop in the moment I was yours and you were mine,
maybe you've just grown accustomed to my face
and I would rip it off for good, 'cause it's you I can't replace

Sunday, April 10, 2016

blinded by love

I have a girl that mostly I never see,
since that perfect day when she finally came to me
and I saw my eyes were only blinding me
so she took her knife and rip them to my plea

I have a girl...
I have a girl...

I have a girl that mostly I never feel,
since the cold struck touch of her sharp knife's steel,
but now that I'm free everything seems so real
and this love I've found will allow me to heal

I have a girl...
I have a girl...

I have a girl that mostly I never hear,
since the day I met her in december of last year
and I've kept my heart closed for her my dear
for the love will vanish if I open it I fear

I have a girl...
I have a girl...

I used to have a girl in those days of being mad,
even if she wasn't real, she was the best I've ever had,
with her around I didn't know I felt so glad
but now she's gone and it hurts to feel this sad

I had a girl...
I had a girl...

Saturday, March 19, 2016

goodbye, sweet honeyed words

I see you standing there across the ocean,
looking back at me through the lens,
as if just standing still could stop the motion
and I was here waiting on my knees

don't you try to sell me your sweet words,
I think I might have lost my appetite
and you paint yourself so high among the lords,
can't you see you're just wanted for the night?

I feel your heart's desire riding with the wind,
announcing that it's just passing by
and the thought of chasing you did cross my mind,
but you had just said goodbye

so don't you go and feed me your honey,
my soul is still filled with the void
and you thought I was just being funny
about all the time you made paranoid

you came back that night without warning,
certain that I'd take you in my arms,
because I loved you deeply in the morning
and the night still smelled of your charms

so don't you try and kiss me like you do,
don't you dare hold my head,
your absence fed this love that I grew
and your presence will just drive me mad
and I'd rather be dead

Friday, May 8, 2015

your brown coat

in that spot I stood, calmly waiting,
patiently playing that game unfair
you gave me clues and sent me searching
and intensely I searched here and there
for the bright and beautiful one
I looked left, right, up and down
and saw many people having fun
as I wished your coat long and brown.

the wind touched slightly upon my hair
and the sun did slap me in the back
while there I was — just sit and stare —
I couldn't find you, but didn't regret.
then I gazed upon such fair maidens
that joyfully danced to heaven's song
so I sent word through all the ravens
that I wished your coat brown and long.

it was only at the end of my quest
that I did see you arriving there
and my heart gave me no further rest
as all I did was sit, breath and stare.
we talked for hours and hours on end
as the kids played in the background
because I didn't have to pretend
that I loved both your eyes and sound.

then darkness came and settled in
as the clocked ticked the time to go
and your lovely image cannot be unseen
and this you really must let me know:
did ever mercy cross your eyes
before they settled upon my heart?
did ever you speak to me not lies
or was it your wish to break me apart?

Saturday, February 21, 2015

in my head

as i lay sitting at night in my bed,
i've all these fantasies crawling
and all these dreams are calling,
teasing me up inside my head.

i shut my eyes as if i were dead,
darkness enters my tired thought
and to live a dream i desire not
unless i'm trapped inside my head.

echoing are the words that she said
as if a busy train from north to south
as if acid rain came out of her mouth
and all the drops fell into my head.

messages were written but never read
for blind i was and could not see
that only death could set me free —
even if i'm only dead in my head.

in my bed, where you have bled,
there is a spot that makes it true,
someone was here and it was you
...or was it all inside my head?

i get up startled from my bed
and stare at the spot that's vivid red,
how could it ever have driven me mad
if i didn't made you inside my head?

i have a wish: i wish i was dead,
but that wish i wish, then i wish it not
for i want to wish and i wish a lot
that i'm as dead as i am in my head.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

walking alone with you

hey! are you there?
listen closely
to the words i have to say
before i change my mind.

i've traveled everywhere
and it's lovely
to think that you can stay
a little in my mind.

i think that i should,
in my head,
take you out for a ride
and then we'll be fine.

bring me the good
and the bad,
i don't care what you decide
as long as you're mine.

i didn't think i could walk alone...

hey, can i come?
i can't wait,
been thinking all day long
of when i'll be with you.

it's leaving me numb,
oh! this fate
that's pulling me so strong
always towards you.

i think that i can
understand
what the others talk about
when they mention love.

believe that i ran
through this land
and now i have no doubt
that you are the best of.

i don't want to go on all alone...

Sunday, July 27, 2014

i need your love

i need your love,
cut me up above,
my wings need rest
and i'll take your chest.

i need your fire,
my undisclosed desire,
kill me in the morning
before the sun gives me warning.

i need your lovin'
like fuel to my movin',
in your best sunday dress
who're you trying to impress?

i need your life,
like butter to my knife,
you get me meltin' in your heat
and i laying at your feet.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

give me love and lies

there is heaven in the lies
we speak in the name of love,
and then, when everything dies,
the lies rise up above.

those lies turn into truth
as though they've always been,
for there is no old nor youth
that can tell you what they've seen.

take my wisdom, oh lord!
let me live in blinded bliss,
for those lies I have adored
and them liars I deeply miss.

the venomous truth speak not,
keep it out of my tainted heart,
for those lies are all I've got
and I'll keep 'em from truth apart.